


too young to die, but old is the grave

by snowfallen



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Death, Depressing, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Heartbreak, M/M, Sad, Sad Ending, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Suicide, This is really sad, Unrequited Love, i don't know if you guys will cry but oh well, like i almost cried, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 13:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4224288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowfallen/pseuds/snowfallen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler nods in amazement, smiling over the words instead of crying, "But, wait," Tyler says. Josh furrows his eyebrows, "A lot of people say I love you. How will I know?" He asks.</p>
<p>Josh shrugs, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, "I don't know yet! Maybe we'll feel like we're exploding or something," He exclaims, making hand gestures and noises to demonstrate an explosion.</p>
<p>Tyler giggles, covering his mouth with his hand. "I don't want to explode though! That'll hurt!" Tyler smiles.</p>
<p>Or, the soulmate AU where everybody gets hurt in one way or another.</p>
            </blockquote>





	too young to die, but old is the grave

**Author's Note:**

> Soulmate AU woo. The idea comes from this: http://cranberryish.tumblr.com/post/98261098574/soulmate-word-tattoo-idea-the-words-your-soulmate
> 
> It's really sad though, but if I can write happy things then I can certainly write sad things. 
> 
> Title from The Bucket by Kings of Leon.

Josh is ten when a new family moves in next to them and his family goes over for a visit. He meets a boy his age and his name is Tyler. Tyler doesn't talk very much, but neither does Josh; both being shy.

In bed that night, Josh flinches when he feels a burn on his arm. He gets out of bed and turns his light on, walking over to the body length mirror to see the words _"Stay with me."_ tattooed along his arm. He screams out, falling on his butt and cries. His parents race in soon after and look at his arm where Josh is pointing.

His parents look at each other with knowing looks.

The next day, his parents explain to him what soulmates are. Apparently they're people who are put together by the choice of no one. Some people have soulmates, some don't. Some love their soulmates, some don't. The thought of Josh's soulmate not loving him is scary to him. But the words tattooed on his arm are what his soulmate says when they realize they do love him. So the ten year old smiles brightly when he supposes that he will be loved one day.

Tyler walks into Josh's math class that day; he gets introduced as a new student. Josh springs up and pats the seat next to him. Tyler nods quickly and walks towards the seat, but one of the kids in front of Josh holds their foot out and trips Tyler. Josh frowns, going over to Tyler and helping the boy up, "Meanie! You hurt my friend!" Josh says, pointing to the girl who tripped Tyler. The girl giggles and rolls her eyes.

Josh returns to his seat with a pout and crosses his arms. He feels a tap on his shoulder and looks over to see Tyler looking at him with wide eyes, "I'm your f-friend?" He asks.

Josh nods with a grin, "Yeah! I like you!" And Tyler gives Josh a toothy grin, wincing when he feels a burn on his arm. Josh watches, and furrows his eyebrows, "Are you okay Ty-Ty?" He asks. Tyler puts on a tight smile, nodding and begins to doodle in his notebook.

When they get out of class, Josh watches Tyler race into the boys restroom. He shrugs and decides to follow the boy. When he gets in there, he gasps when he sees Tyler with his shirt sleeve pulled up, the words _"I love you, Ty."_ printed along his upper arm. Josh grins, running over to Tyler who backs away.

"Don't t-touch me. There's something w-wrong with me," Tyler whimpers, pulling his sleeve down but still keeping his hand wrapped around where the words are tattooed.

Josh shakes his head, taking one of Tyler's hands in his, "No there isn't! You've just got a soulmate, like me! See?" He says, turning to the side and pulling his sleeve up. Tyler's eyes widen and he traces his fingers along the letters, "Most people have them. Apparently the words are what your soulmate says when they first realize they love you. Neat, huh?" Josh explains.

Tyler nods in amazement, smiling over the words instead of crying, "But, wait," Tyler says. Josh furrows his eyebrows, "A lot of people say I love you. How will I know?" He asks.

Josh shrugs, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, "I don't know yet! Maybe we'll feel like we're exploding or something," He exclaims, making hand gestures and noises to demonstrate an explosion.

Tyler giggles, covering his mouth with his hand. "I don't want to explode though! That'll hurt!" Tyler smiles.

Josh smiles back at the boy and drags him out of the restrooms to their next class.  

* * *

 

At the age of fourteen, Josh and Tyler are laying on Josh's bedroom floor. Tyler's sprawled out like a starfish and Josh has his back against the bed with a book in his hand.

Tyler turns over onto his stomach and faces Josh, "What book is that anyways?" Tyler asks. Josh looks at Tyler for a bit before patting the floor next to him. Tyler sits next to Josh and leans over to look at the book, "Are you seriously reading up on the soulmate thing? Dude, it's been four years since we even found out we had one. You can go without reading up on it for at least a day," Tyler whines, grabbing the book and closing it.

Josh glares, but nods anyways, "I just want to find mine faster. Like, how am I supposed to tell when I've even found mine?" He groans, sliding his back down and laying against the floor fully.

Tyler launches forward across Josh's stomach and Josh groans, trying to push Tyler off but Tyler sticks. "You remember how that's what I had in my mind all the time when I was younger?" Tyler asks. Josh closes his eyes and hums as a response, "I learned that it was best to just let things be spontaneous. Because it's harder to find something when you look for it," Tyler says. He pats Josh's hip lightly and gets off of Josh.

"Why are you so thoughtful about it now anyways?" Tyler asks.

Josh looks down, biting his lip and letting out a sigh, "Debby asked me out today. I really like her, too, I was just so happy! I wouldn't mind her being my soulmate," He smiles lightly, remembering how he said yes to dating Debby. He's had a crush on her for a year now, and to find out it was requited was amazing to him.

Tyler chuckles, "Good luck with having that kind of fortune," And Josh pouts kind of, but nods it off and ruffles Tyler's hair to make him whine.

* * *

 

On Josh's seventeenth birthday, he sleeps with Debby. They've been together for three years straight already, and he wanted to make it mean something to another level. They had the party at Debby's, so he waited until everyone left, and then Tyler left an hour after the others. While Debby's parents were cleaning up outside, he took the girl upstairs and slept with her.

He cuddles with Debby for a while, then throws his legs off of the bed and starts putting his clothes on. Just as he stands up, there's a hand around his wrist and he looks back at his girlfriend. She says, "Stay with me," in a whisper, and Josh's eyes widen.

He smiles at her, and leans down to brush hair away from her eyes and kisses her forehead, "'Course, I was just going to get a drink," He whispers back, exiting her room and going down to the kitchen.

He sits at the counter with his head against his palm, and his other hand holding his phone. He puts his phone away, deciding not to text Tyler anything just yet. Instead, he grabs a drink from the fridge and returns to Debby who's now asleep.

Josh threads his fingers through his hair and bites his lip so hard it bleeds. He knows Debby's tattoo says _"You're so picky."_ , and he hasn't said that to her ever. It still makes him nervous.

The next day, Josh and Tyler are in history class. Their seats aren't close together so if Josh wants to talk then he'll have to text the boy. He pulls out his phone and goes to his message conversation with Tyler.

**JOSH 11:23 AM**

_i think debby's my soulmate man_

He looks back to see Tyler pulling out his phone and looking at the notification with a frown, opening it and then gaping when he looks to Josh. Josh watches Tyler's fingers go along the keyboard like lightning.

**TYLER 11:23 AM**

_Did she do something??_

Josh shakes his head, but then remembers that Tyler's probably looking at his screen rather than Josh.

**JOSH 11:24 AM**

_she said the words tattooed on my arm_

**TYLER 11:24 AM**

_Were there any feelings of explosions?_

Josh grins and looks to Tyler who's looking to Josh.

**JOSH 11:24 AM**

_no but what if there doesn't have to be any feelings?_

_what if it just happens? i'm pretty sure we love each other a lot so_

**TYLER 11:25 AM**

_We're sitting outside for lunch today. Tell Debby._

They don't text anymore after that, and they wait for the rest of the hour for the bell to ring. Once it does, the two go to the cafeteria and Josh drags Debby outside and Jenna, Tyler's friend, tags along with Tyler like always.

"What's going on?" Debby asks, "Outside lunches are only for special occasions," She says as she leans back against the tree just by the football field. Jenna lays on the grass with her head in Debby's lap and Tyler and Josh stand by each other.

"I think you're my soulmate," Josh says hesitantly. Debby's eyes widen, and Jenna pops up from her lay down position to sitting up and staring at Josh and Tyler with bug eyes, "You said the words on my arm the night we... yeah, and I think it's official," Josh mumbles.

Debby looks at her feet and picks at her nails, "You - you haven't said what's on my arm though," She defends, "We don't know for sure, Josh."

Tyler steps forward, "But you guys also don't know if you aren't soulmates. I'd say go with it," He suggests. Debby sighs lightly, looking up at Josh who seems worried. She stands up and walks over to Josh and hugs him. Josh leans down and kisses Debby's forehead and smiles.

Tyler smiles and then feels someone latch onto him from behind. He hears Jenna's sigh of happiness and then she pecks behind his ear. Tyler turns around and frowns when he sees that Jenna's arm still doesn't have a tattoo. Jenna shrugs, pulling Tyler into a hug, "I'm fine with this. I just want Debby and Josh to be happy," She admits with a shaky voice. Tyler nods and hugs her tightly.

* * *

 

When Tyler turns twenty-three, he moves in an apartment with Jenna in New York. Josh and Debby are living not too far away, so they can still meet up regularly and such. He's proud that those two are still together, and even though Josh hasn't said his words to Debby, he's sure it's meant to be.   
  
And Tyler recently began dating Jenna, the girl still doesn't have her tattoo. Tyler would always try and make her feel better by saying some tattoos take longer than others, but she was getting so down about it. He decided that since he didn't have his soulmate yet either, that he liked Jenna enough to date her. When he asked her out, Jenna said yes and now the two were dating.   
  
One day, Josh and Tyler are out grocery shopping when the dyed pink head brings up his soulmate troubles once again. Tyler rolls his eyes but keeps pushing the cart.   
  
"I still haven't said the words on Debby's tattoo. I'm honestly losing faith," Josh says, throwing some lucky charms into the cart. Tyler keeps grabbing and taking out the unnecessary stuff when Josh isn't looking though.  
  
"If you're so worried then just say them randomly. Like, the next time she gets fussy about something, just be like 'you're so picky,' and then bam! Soulmates for life," Tyler mutters, eyes half lidded and energy almost gone from sticking on the same topic for two hours now.   
  
When they get to the checkout, Josh shuts up. It's not until they've put all bags in the trunk and Josh's headed to Tyler's apartment to drop the brunet off at his apartment that Josh brings it up again, "But isn't that cheating? I don't want to cheat into having a soulmate," He argues.  
  
"Then stop complaining!" Tyler yells. Josh closes his mouth and focuses on the road. Tyler closes his eyes and hits his head on the head rest. They don't talk for the rest of the drive, and when Josh parks around Tyler's apartment, Tyler gets out and gets his share of the groceries without saying goodbye to Josh.   
  
Tyler enters his apartment and puts the groceries on the dining room table. He groans, then hears Jenna come down the hall and she greets him with a kiss. Tyler holds her by her hips and chases her lips when she pulls back, "Hey, babe," She smiles lightly. She frowns when she sees the angered look on Tyler's face, "What's wrong?"  
  
"Josh was complaining about him and Debby again," He says. Jenna looks down and nods. He sees her gaze travel to her arm and he takes her hands in his, "Hey, we don't need to be like Josh and Debby. We can go against the rules. Let's be together on our own account, happily, okay?" Tyler mumbles against Jenna's forehead. She nods and Tyler pecks her lips before putting the groceries away.  
  
"I love you," Jenna calls out before racing back down the hall to take a shower. Tyler still can't find it in him to say it back to her, but he does love her. Just not in the way that is required for true soulmates. Jenna knows that though, but she still sighs at her reflection with tears in her eyes.  
  
When Tyler finally has all of the groceries put away, he falls onto the couch and sighs. Sometimes he has to understand Josh, because after thirteen years, you start to doubt things. Maybe it is a reasonable situation for Josh because he's trying to hang onto what he can get, but it feels like cheating out of the system at the same time.  
  
Tyler just wishes he knew where his was.  
  


* * *

  
A few days after Jenna's twenty-fifth birthday, she hangs out with Debby. She still doesn't have her tattoo, and she's given up hope for it now. It hurts less that way, and she knows it'll make things easier for her and Tyler.   
  
"Has Josh still said the _thing_?" Jenna asks as they walk down the street towards the coffee shop. Jenna's pretty sure Josh and Tyler are hanging out with their other friends who they met last year. Brendon and Spencer, she thinks.  
  
But Debby shakes her head, "He hasn't. But it's okay. I know we're not soulmates. I'm just hanging on to what I have though, and I don't want to make Josh upset," She sighs. Jenna frowns at the blonde but lets it go when she opens the door to the coffee shop.   
  
They get in line, and Jenna orders her coffee. She stands beside Debby who says, "I want a caramel latte with whole milk please. And can you put whipped topping on it with little chocolate shavings?"   
  
"You're so picky," Jenna snorts, looking at Debby with a great amount of fondness. Her lips lightly part once she realizes what she's said. And her heart seems to be beating faster than before. Debby finishes her order and slowly looks to Jenna, moving out of the line. The two don't speak until they've gotten their coffees and sat down.  
  
"Oh," Debby whispers, "So, you're my soulmate," Jenna nods, wiping at her eyes and she begins to sniffle. Debby just sits there because she's in shock too, she doesn't know what to do.  
  
"You're not mine though," Jenna cries quietly. She pulls up her sleeve to see the still bare arm, "I will never get a tattoo. You will never love me. I may be yours, but you will never be mine," She says. Without another word, Jenna scoots her chair back and races out of the coffee shop.  
  
Debby wishes she could have stopped Jenna, but it just wasn't going to happen. Both were equally upset and shocked, and nothing would change that. Debby sinks down in her seat and pulls her phone out of her bag.  
  
 **DEBBY 4:56 PM**  
  
 _Meet me at the park. It's urgent._  
  
 **JOSH 4:59 PM**  
  
 _okay_  
  
Debby sighs and raced out of the coffee shop, heading to the park. She sits on the first bench she sees over the grass beside a pond. She doesn't even look at Josh when he sits down next to her.  
  
"We're not soulmates," Debby says quietly. She hears Josh shuffle around in his seat. It's silent for a while and Debby realizes that Josh won't talk, so she explains the rest, "Jenna is mine. But, it's not going to work out at all. I know it seemed like we'd be soulmates at first, and I do love you Josh, but I can't live a lie anymore."   
  
Josh nods slowly, "I knew we'd never work out. I just kept denying it. I'm starting to think that this tattoo is a permanently written lie, too," He says with disappointment. Debby feels tears run down her cheeks, which she wipes at. Josh shakes his head and pulls Debby into his arms, "This was bound to happen sooner or later," Josh says.   
  
"Can we just pretend?" Debby whispers. Josh nods and leans down to kiss her.  
  
And at Tyler's, Jenna's crying into his chest. Tyler has his arms wrapped around her and keeps whispering things into her ear to make her feel better. It doesn't seem to work so he just lets her cry it out. He's not even sure what's happened, like maybe she broke from not having a tattoo. He wants to tell her that it'll be alright, but he doesn't know that.  
  
"I'm s-sorry, Ty," She says, pulls backs and wiping her eyes. Tyler nods at her sympathetically, "I found out I was Debby's soulmate," She mumbles. Tyler grins and goes to hug her until she shows him her arm again. Tyler frowns when seeing the blanks, "It's something I have to accept. It's just taking a while," Jenna gives a soft smile, but it's fake.   
  
A few weeks later, Tyler and Josh hang out at Josh and Debby's apartment. Debby it out at one of the animal shelters helping out for a while. The two play video games for a while, and then Tyler suggests the just watch TV.   
  
It's not long until it starts to feel awkward, and Tyler brings up the past's event, "How's Debby doing?" He asks. Josh looks over to him and gives him a closed mouth smile to show that she's doing okay.   
  
"We're just dating for the heck of it now. We gave up on the soulmates chance a long time ago," Josh says.   
  
"Jenna's been an emotional mess. On the outside she's been smiling and cheery, but I've been there enough times to know that she's breaking down on the inside each and everyday," Tyler bites his lip, and his voice is shaky. He's not sure how much longer he can go on now either, "I'm scared."  
  
Josh puts an arm around Tyler's shoulder, "Hey, Jenna's a tough one. I'm sure she'll be fine-"  
  
"N-no. I'm scared for _myself._ Josh, I'm almost twenty-five, and I'm still alone," Tyler admits.   
  
They spend the rest of the day snuggling on the couch, because right now their lives are just a bunch of twisted events, and there's no telling what will happen anymore. It used to be fun for Josh and Tyler, but they're nothing but lost and sad now.  
  


* * *

  
At the age of twenty-seven, Debby wakes up early in the morning next to Josh. She smiles lightly and brushes her fingers through Josh's red hair, then she turns over and gets her phone.  
  
 **DEBBY 8:34 AM**  
  
 _I'll meet you soon_  
  
She sends, and begins to get dressed out of her pjs. When she slips on her last shoe, she leans down to Josh and kisses his forehead. Once she leaves the apartment complexes, she gets in her car and drives to her destination.  
  
She drives through the busy streets of New York, parking on one of the roadside parking spots. Then Debby looks up at the building before entering it and smiling at the person at the reception desk. She enters the elevator and pushes the button for the highest level. When the elevator dings, she walks through a hall and gets to a staircase that she walks up.   
  
Debby opens the door at the end of the staircase and finds Jenna standing by it. The two hug for a while, both crying lightly, "I love you so much," Jenna mumbles against Debby's neck.   
  
"We can do this," Debby whispers. Jenna nods and takes Debby's hand. The two walk towards the ledge of the building. Debby looks down at the cars rushing by and people along the sidewalks, "On the count of three," She says. Jenna gives Debby a smile, and squeezes Debby's hand.  
  
"One."  
  
The two close their eyes.  
  
"Two."  
  
Take in deep breaths.  
  
 _"Three."_  
  
Both of them step forward, and drop.   
  
Less than a week later, Tyler and Josh are getting ready for the funeral. They pull on their blazers and put on their shoes. Neither talk or even look at each other. And when they get in the car, it begins to rain. Tyler closes his eyes and just listens to the rain hit the windshield while they drive.  
  
"This isn't the reason I wanted to wear this tux for," Josh mutters. Tyler opens his eyes and takes in a deep breaths.  
  
"Me neither," He replies.   
  
Tyler takes Josh's hand in his and it stays that way for the rest of the ride.

At the funeral, they see the word _"Three."_ tattooed along Jenna's arm. Tyler cries his hardest.

 

* * *

 

 

Josh and Tyler share an apartment now. They're both twenty-eight and still living in New York. It's a different area though, because they need somewhat of a change. Even though their lives are still sad most of the time, they try making it happier every once and a while. 

Josh is laying asleep on the couch when he wakes up from hearing Tyler yelling. His eyes open and see an angry looking Tyler above him. Tyler's hands are on his hips and Josh raises an eyebrow, "I told you to do the dishes, Josh! This is a shared apartment now, you need to start doing some work around here!" He glares.  
  
Josh rolls his eyes at the man who's barely even his best friend anymore. Tyler sees Josh roll his eyes and yells again, "Okay, you know what? We're going grocery shopping," Tyler grabs his car keys and Josh puts on his shoes with a huff, "I understand things have been hard, but seriously? We're the only ones left out of the high school pack. We need to make some effort."

"I get that," Josh says, "But are you forgetting that we don't even have our soulmates yet? I should at least get to be sad about that," And Tyler nods with a quiet sigh. He puts the keys in the ignition and starts the car.   
  
When they get to the grocery store, Josh pulls out a cart and goes along the isles that Tyler's observing. That's when another ding is heard throughout the store, and then there's yelling, "Everybody get down!"  
  
Josh and Tyler's eyes widen, and they forget the cart and try to sneak their way around the store. Josh puts Tyler in front of him to start walking down the next isle. Josh gets stopped when he feels a pistol against the back of his head. His breathe hitches, and Tyler looks back to see the scene. Tyler gasps and goes to run to Josh.  
  
The guy holding the gun points it to Tyler instead, and Tyler backs away slightly and gets on his knees. There are tears in his eyes now, and Josh has his closed shut tightly. Then there are police sirens in the background, and Tyler and Josh sigh in relief.  
  
Tyler's eyes shoot open widely when he hears a gun shot, and then he sees Josh's body hitting the ground with a thud. The person holding the gun runs off, and Tyler quickly crawls to Josh. There's a bullet hole in Josh's chest, and Tyler tries applying pressure to the wound. He's crying now, watching Josh choking for air.  
  
"Josh, no," Tyler cries out, putting his left hand out to hold Josh's. He reaches down and pulls Josh into his lap and cradles him, _"Stay with me._ Please," Tyler whimpers, and he feels fingertips brush against his cheek.  
  
 _"I love you, Ty,"_ Josh smiles lightly, and goes to kiss Tyler. Tyler presses his lips against Josh's quickly, then sobbing against them when he feels Josh go completely limp.  
  
"I love you so much, Josh Dun," Tyler croaks out. He doesn't even realize when people are pulling him away from Josh, and lifting Josh onto one of the medic gurneys to take him away.   
  
And it hurts the most when he's taken outside and sees a cover being put over Josh's whole body.   
  


* * *

  
At age twenty-nine, Tyler doesn't understand why any of this happened to him specifically. He knows his parents got the easy way, but he lost pretty much everyone around him, including the one he loved most; his soulmate; Josh. He doesn't understand what he did that was so bad to deserve this.   
  
At age twenty-nine, he believes that he'll never find happiness in his life again. And that nothing is worth it anymore.   
  
At age twenty-nine, Tyler thinks that maybe finding your soulmate does feel like exploding. Because it hurts and it scares you.  
  
And at age twenty-nine, Tyler picks up a newly bought pistol from his nightstand drawer and places the barrel in his mouth. He pulls the trigger, and ends his suffering.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry.


End file.
